Lauren Conrad Love

Last night I watched a classic episode of Family Guy in which Lauren Conrad (who I openly admit, I love) went out with Brian, and turned out to be extraordinarily intelligent, but covers it up because America doesn't like clever people - they voted Bush in twice etc etc.

If this were true in the non-cartoon world, it may explain her new book 'Style' - The secret to looking fabulous and having fun with fashion!'

This is a gloriously funny tome, maybe not for the right reasons but since I openly love Lauren, I am allowed to laugh at some of the pearls of wisdom - all must be read aloud with wide open eyes and slight shake of the head and exclamation marks!

Example: SCARVES! (something of a speciality subject for Lauren): 'You can do a knot'.Or...wait for it...'a bow'!

Example: EARRINGS! with important points such as 'try them on first!'

And she even tackles beauty...

MASTERING FAKE EYELASHES!

Apparently Lauren applies them with both eyes closed, one at a time with open tweezers.

Chuckles aside, this is overall a cute book. You should own it. Did I mention I am a fan of Lauren Conrad?

Lauren Conrad, 'Style'. Published by HarperCollinsPublishers, £14.99

Man Talk

No, not the most interesting kind of man talk where we discuss boys, and their text messages. This being a beauty blog, the topic is the next best on the list: GROOMING!

I wouldn't normally get that excited about it, but I just had an appointment with the girls at Amazon, and was greatly tickled by the mens stuff (not literally).

Exhibit A

The Man Groomer

Katie picked it up, somewhat puzzled, the PR opened it up and kindly mimed a demonstration 'for the man in your life with a hairier back'. This is so ingenious I'm actually a little sad DadJokes is not so hirsute. Not even my dad can be happily gifted. Someone I went out with in 1999 however...

buy it here

Exhibit B

The Philips TurboVac Trimmer

This isn't so funny, but so clever nonetheless, (most men probably already know about it, but I'm an easily-excitable female, humour me). An electric shaver with. a. hoover. built. in! I need one of these! Well not me personally but our poor, frequently black-speckled white sink could certainly benefit.

buy it here

Exhibit C

Scottish Fine Soaps Classic Grooming Set

Again, not so funny but if you read this blog for practical reasons, then this is at least a lovely gift idea. Boys may like grey and science-y looking stuff, but girls like nice. This range, although for men, makes women want to by it for them. If that's not good grooming business sense I don't know what is.

buy it here

A Beauty Editors Affliction

It's probably a common one, and it bothers my dad (of all people) no end, but most days I arrive home with a confused and abused hand. Like this;

Alternatively two nails painted different colours, or if it was a particularly busy day in the post room deliveries department, ten different colours. Either way, not such a good look...

Its Time To Talk About Beef

Name dropping is an ugly ugly habit, but if it's going to be done then there has never been a better reason than this.

I am friends with a famous cat.

Really good friends to the extent that I took his first official Vogue picture, look at the beautiful composition. AND I am officially considered his sort of godmother in cat terms. He bit my toe once.

And even to the extent that having risen to the dizzying heights of feline fame, he still has time to message me via his own Facebook page (look up Beefy Rothstein).

Yes, Beefy Rothstein, the (other weekly magazine that shall not be mentioned here) Resident Office Cat belongs to my lovely friend Claire who I hang out with A LOT.

Cool? me? YES

Follow Beefy Rothstein on twitter here or look for him yourself @Beefyrothstein

Shoot Me Please

picture from davidehenry.com

Bad shoot days, they happen every so often. Sometimes it's a bad location or model choice (my fault), sometimes it's a bad story or concept (my fault) (very rare), sometimes it is not my fault, and those days are completely perplexing, flummoxing, extraordinarily excruciating and a few other words with 'x' in them to convey eXtreme annoyance.

Today is one of those. I'm a beauty editor, get me out of here please...

A Super Scandal

photo from http://retrosuperfuture.com/super/blog/2009/01/15/vngrd-super/

So I've been wondering if this little story of sex, sleaze and scandal comes under the 'life of a beauty editor' remit. And I decided that, yes, it does. So, for your reading pleasure, this is the tale of 'When I Went to Morocco'.

There was a trip, it was hot, my team and I had a good time, (although, did I mention this before? it was FORTY EIGHT DEGREES!!!), then along came another team from another unnamed magazine and that is where our story begins.

They were waaay too 'cool' for school, or to talk to us mainstreamers, so we didn't have much to do with them. Apart from when they stayed up the whole night before our flight to 'party' in the villa and then share a cab with us to the airport first thing next morning. Not such a fun experience with 5 reeeally drunk 'cool' people. Can you sense the sarcasm or do I need to do a few ^^^'s?

So when the editor and model sat a few rows in front of us on the Easy Jet flight home, we were displeased. Oh how wrong we were.

My team fell asleep, I continued to look forward, as you do on aeroplanes, when there was a commotion behind and three stewards in all their orange glory speed walked up the aisle, exclaiming 'excuse me! excuse me!', and up came the models head, from about lap level shall we say. There was much finger wagging and disapproving looks, at which point the penny dropped and I woke up my team pointing and mouthing 'BL*W J*B!!'

I mean, for goodness sake, 10am people. On an EasyJet flight. In their seats! There was a toilet right opposite! So on my way to the toilet opposite I snuck a glance and sure enough - still at it. The Steward comes running up behind me and yells with all his might 'HEY!' She was trying to mount him. they had their passports confiscated, we were beside ourselves with joy.

When the steward walked past us later Clare, makeup artist told him, 'we're proud of you'. He smiled conspiratorially.

Can I just add that during my loo run at the end of the flight the editors' tray table was down and the models' hand was somewhere beneath it. Will they never learn?

Three weeks on and I'm being told this story by models and taxi drivers alike (well, one taxi driver who heard the news on the ground), as something of an urban myth. I can hereby confirm that the scandal is TRUE and disgusting.

What a super super story...

Swirl! Tap! Buff!

Newsflash!! The first matte mineral foundation ever, bareMinerals Matte? Skin perfection in powder form. Seriously, I love this stuff.

The launch was certainly a talking point too - quite literally. A select few of us had dinner at Soho House with Matt (see what they've done there?) from Get the Guy, who 'taught' us how to, well, get the guy. Now I already have one, (thank you DadJokes), so this wasn't so relevant to me. But to the raving man-hating feminists in the room, the poor boy didn't stand a chance. He was only 23 bless him. Not. A. Chance.

Although I can share one very important nugget on the minefield that is texting, courtesy of Matt;

NEVER ask a question in text form. If you want to ask a man somewhere or get him to do something you have to make a statement. e.g.

DONT DO; 'Hi DadJokes, I was thinking, would you like to maybe go to the Cat and Mutton with me on friday?' (incidentally the answer would always be NO, he hates that place)

DO DO; 'Hi DadJokes, so I'm going to the Cat and Mutton on friday, you should come.'

This does sort of make sense to me, so I shared the critical info with Lucy who is the single girl on my desk. She tried it with approximately zero success. Sorry Matt, better luck next time.

Matte on the other hand, amaaaazing. Swirl, tap buff!

bareMinerals Matte, £24 available now at Selfridges and the Bare Escsentuals boutique in Covent Garden. Nationwide from 1st September