Shoot Me Please

picture from davidehenry.com

Bad shoot days, they happen every so often. Sometimes it's a bad location or model choice (my fault), sometimes it's a bad story or concept (my fault) (very rare), sometimes it is not my fault, and those days are completely perplexing, flummoxing, extraordinarily excruciating and a few other words with 'x' in them to convey eXtreme annoyance.

Today is one of those. I'm a beauty editor, get me out of here please...

A Super Scandal

photo from http://retrosuperfuture.com/super/blog/2009/01/15/vngrd-super/

So I've been wondering if this little story of sex, sleaze and scandal comes under the 'life of a beauty editor' remit. And I decided that, yes, it does. So, for your reading pleasure, this is the tale of 'When I Went to Morocco'.

There was a trip, it was hot, my team and I had a good time, (although, did I mention this before? it was FORTY EIGHT DEGREES!!!), then along came another team from another unnamed magazine and that is where our story begins.

They were waaay too 'cool' for school, or to talk to us mainstreamers, so we didn't have much to do with them. Apart from when they stayed up the whole night before our flight to 'party' in the villa and then share a cab with us to the airport first thing next morning. Not such a fun experience with 5 reeeally drunk 'cool' people. Can you sense the sarcasm or do I need to do a few ^^^'s?

So when the editor and model sat a few rows in front of us on the Easy Jet flight home, we were displeased. Oh how wrong we were.

My team fell asleep, I continued to look forward, as you do on aeroplanes, when there was a commotion behind and three stewards in all their orange glory speed walked up the aisle, exclaiming 'excuse me! excuse me!', and up came the models head, from about lap level shall we say. There was much finger wagging and disapproving looks, at which point the penny dropped and I woke up my team pointing and mouthing 'BL*W J*B!!'

I mean, for goodness sake, 10am people. On an EasyJet flight. In their seats! There was a toilet right opposite! So on my way to the toilet opposite I snuck a glance and sure enough - still at it. The Steward comes running up behind me and yells with all his might 'HEY!' She was trying to mount him. they had their passports confiscated, we were beside ourselves with joy.

When the steward walked past us later Clare, makeup artist told him, 'we're proud of you'. He smiled conspiratorially.

Can I just add that during my loo run at the end of the flight the editors' tray table was down and the models' hand was somewhere beneath it. Will they never learn?

Three weeks on and I'm being told this story by models and taxi drivers alike (well, one taxi driver who heard the news on the ground), as something of an urban myth. I can hereby confirm that the scandal is TRUE and disgusting.

What a super super story...

Swirl! Tap! Buff!

Newsflash!! The first matte mineral foundation ever, bareMinerals Matte? Skin perfection in powder form. Seriously, I love this stuff.

The launch was certainly a talking point too - quite literally. A select few of us had dinner at Soho House with Matt (see what they've done there?) from Get the Guy, who 'taught' us how to, well, get the guy. Now I already have one, (thank you DadJokes), so this wasn't so relevant to me. But to the raving man-hating feminists in the room, the poor boy didn't stand a chance. He was only 23 bless him. Not. A. Chance.

Although I can share one very important nugget on the minefield that is texting, courtesy of Matt;

NEVER ask a question in text form. If you want to ask a man somewhere or get him to do something you have to make a statement. e.g.

DONT DO; 'Hi DadJokes, I was thinking, would you like to maybe go to the Cat and Mutton with me on friday?' (incidentally the answer would always be NO, he hates that place)

DO DO; 'Hi DadJokes, so I'm going to the Cat and Mutton on friday, you should come.'

This does sort of make sense to me, so I shared the critical info with Lucy who is the single girl on my desk. She tried it with approximately zero success. Sorry Matt, better luck next time.

Matte on the other hand, amaaaazing. Swirl, tap buff!

bareMinerals Matte, £24 available now at Selfridges and the Bare Escsentuals boutique in Covent Garden. Nationwide from 1st September

The Cute Ring Thing

There's not much I can tell you about these rings other than that I LOVE THEM. I wouldn't ever wear them, mostly through fabric-snag-fear and other impracticality reasons, but I still want them in my life.

And they're only from Hennes (H&M to the younger readers), so that means I can definitely afford them - which makes a change...

I heart les carottes

Apart from their night vision and hair growing benefits, carrots are popular in the ilovelipstick household because I assume a similar identity when sleeping (on my front, arms and legs straight, ankles together).

So when I received this cute Honoré des Prés kit from the space.nk a/w edit, I initially thought it just a funny pic to send to Dadjokes.

But the perfume sample inside, it actually truly smells like, wait for it, you guessed it...Carrots! (or les carottes, sorry). Strange but true, and strangely nice. In the absence of virtual scratch n sniff technology, just go to a Pret-a-Manger, open a bottle of Fresh Carrot Juice, sniff, and imagine that on your pulse points.

OK, maybe it's just me, but I'm going to have to get a bottle for sentimental reasons at least.

Honoré des Prés We Love New York Collection, I Love les carottes, £69, exclusive to space.nk

Kitten Love

So I heard a buzz about these Paul & Joe Collection C lipsticks a while ago (my ears pick up on anything cat related remarkably well - a bit like a cat I guess). Then I saw them on a blog. Then we got them in! But I was away. But Katie put one aside for me! but then she had to shoot it and the still life photographer chopped it up. But then she got me another one! Joy of joys.

I can't do anything but admire it - wearing it would be like using Rodin's The Kiss as blackboard chalk.

On a similarly exciting note my friend Jasmine went to a wedding and after a wet luggage dye transference incident, found this emergency replacement dress in a boutique in Cyprus. This is the only public picture of it but even from behind it's caused a stir on my desk. The girl has taste.

You can get the Paul & Joe Vefour Dress in black or coral here - for euro 465. I'll stick to owning the lipstick - I have a friend with fashion borrowing benefits...

image from paulandjoe.com

The Curling Claw

Every so often we get something strange land on our desks.

Thanks then to Mark Hill for this weeks installment. These strange Gaga-esque gloves are designed to protect your thumb and forefingers ONLY from tong-burn. Presumably the other fingers can take a bit of heat

The verdict is we're not sure how necessary they are, but Katie loved them and insists she only burns those fingers so they're brilliant. (I suspect she still has Gaga leanings and wants to take these home for nights out in Bromley with the girls).

Your thoughts? Fashion or functional (or frivolous)?

Wow it Works!

As much as I get inundated with beauty promises, some are better fulfilled than others. So its nice when something is so impressive that I feel the need to tell everyone who'll listen. After my first installment on look.co.uk, I've collected a few more mind-blowers, calculated from my personal usage to compliment ratio; this stuff REALLY works. So before I share those, here's the last lot.

Seriously, get these!

Vichy Cellular SOS Repair Balm.

Two hours in South African sun, + local ineffective sunscreen = embarrassing pink skin bikini.

After three days of my usual aftersun not helping I tried this one, and went from pink to brown within a few hours – I kid you not.

Swiss Dent Nano Whitening Toothpaste, £15

OK I’ll admit it, I had this lingering in my ‘spares’ cupboard, and only used it when my Colgate ran out and my local Tesco was closed. Three days later I was baffled at all the compliments on my white teeth and finally put two and two together. And this from someone who has tried every whitening method under the sun…

Available Nationwide

www.shop.harveynicholls.com

PH Advantage Acne Treatment, from £20

Years of testing truckloads of different skincare gave me beauty editor’s syndrome – unpredictable skin. After a good few years trying to fix it (including an ineffective doctor visit) I got this on my desk. It’s medical grade skincare, which sounds extreme, but even if you only have the odd breakout and sensitive skin like me it’s a godsend. Clear skin in two weeks – yes thanks...

www.phadvantage.co.uk

46 degrees. aarrrrrrggghhhhh

Blog ging from Marrakech.

shoot ing. Outside...so hot.

too hot for blogging. But for followers, I'll do it.

Too hot for pic tures.

Good ne ws is, sweat is so extreme hangovers are near impossible. Bad news, TOO hot.

L ater...

Vacancy Filled

So, the old assistant wasn't working out so well.

I chose the new one based on looks only...